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Oma

I hate cancer with my entire being. It strips away the strength that someone holds onto, and pushes the dreams of the young even further away. The treatments are painstakingly slow, yet attack not only the cancer cells but also the body aggressively. It looks the sick in the eye and determines their fate.
Seeing someone have cancer go through different treatments can be one of the hardest sights to see. Although at first it’s not much of a change, but over time more and more hair falls out. The sick looks weaker and weaker, as if all their energy had been sucked away. Not being able to do a damn thing but just sit and watch while they struggle through it.
Some of the hardest words to hear; the tumor hasn’t shrunk nor enlarged. So no radiation can be started, nor surgery because its just too risky. The only thing to do is pass more time with more chemo and hope to god that it works. But even then, there are doubts to face; if it didnt change size now, will it change later? Has the tumor grown immune to the chemo? What was the problem before? Just so many questions and doubts.
In May of 2012 the doctors found a tumor in my grandmothers bile duct system and she was diagnosed with cancer later that month. She began her chemotherapy treatments in June of 2012 and has continued them to this date. I have always looked up to my grandmother for support, strength, courage, and love. In her time of weakness, although she only shows her strength, I hope can repay back all the love and care that she has given me all these years. Without her, I wouldn’t be who I am to this date and I love her truly and dearly. Ich liebe dich Oma

What I learned.

Although it is something that is hard to let go of now, I realize I can’t put myself in such a state. To only feel the emotion of loneliness when I have a bigger possibility of happiness. So now I replace this emotion with something that will make me stronger; acceptance.

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